An Open Blog for seniors (including my Mom and Dad)

Before I start I should say that it is presumptuous of me to think I have the answers for what it's like to face the problems of being old.  I've never been there, though I'm getting close.  Having said that - read on for my presumptuous conclusions.

The Camino is filled with many twists and turns.  Some that make you think you can't go on.  Some that make you think you don't want to.  And some that make you think you must.   Sometimes debilitating pain.  Sometimes looking behind at how far you've come ... and sometimes looking ahead at how much is left. Looking up at the steepness of the next climb.  (Oh how I long for the smooth paths) - Then suddenly you are on those flat mesetas, and you long for a change of view. (Oh God, where are the mountains?) 

Through this I have leaned a secret.  Are you ready for this great revelation?  You better sit down, because this is a major announcement.  Here it comes: the way to walk a Camino is ... One step at a time.  

In fact I think it's safe to say that you don't "walk the Camino".  You take a step. And then you take another one. And then one more.  And if you take enough steps in the same direction, you look back and realize you have walked a Camino.  

If you had asked Lorraine a month ago, "can you walk 10 to 20 km every day for a month when nearly every step makes you grimace with pain?", the answer would have been,"No." But the month is over, and 500 km have been covered in that time.  "Can you walk a month in pain?" "No, but I can take another step."

Life is like that.  Filled with twists and turns. You get used to one thing, and in an instant it is gone - and all that remains is the wisp of a memory. You don't know how you are going to face the next hurdle. 

The reality is, you're not!  You're just going to take a step, then another ... And another.  

Her name was Hazel.  For all of her adult life she had been a strong and devoted Christian.  Thrusted in Jesus. Testified often that He never failed her.  All the good stuff that good Christians, especially good Christians of the evangelical persuasion, do.  Then the time came ... and she was admitted to a nursing home - a.k.a Seniors Residence.  She told me (because I was her pastor) that at at that point in life she went through a deep crisis of faith. She no longer knew if she believed. Could the Jesus who had led her when she was strong now hold her when she was weak?

This was new to me.  Until that moment I had always assumed that seniors "had it made", or at least as far as matters of faith are concerned.  How could she possibly have doubts at this stage in life? 

But that's the question, isn't it?  Will the Jesus whom I proclaimed with vigor in my middle years - those years when I was strong, those years when I had something to offer ... those years when JESUS NEEDED ME! - will that Jesus show himself strong for me now ... when all I have to offer is ... is me.  

And suddenly, unexpectedly the latter part of life's Camino is filled with fear, and doubts,

My parents are at an age that used to be reserved for "old people".  The only problem with that is they're not supposed to be old.  They're 84 and 80 - and that SOUNDS old, but it can't be ... because they're my parents.

They've reached that age where they occasionally fall when they try to go to bed.  Or the doctor calls them and tells them things like angina, and blockages, and memory lapses.  (Can you imagine my Dad with a memory lapse?) 

They, like most of the rest of the seniors I know, are wondering, "How can I do this for another 5 years, 10 years?"

And the answer is, "You can't.  But you can take the next step ... and the next one ... and the next."

And every step, you will be able to look back and say with certainty, "YES, Jesus was there!"